Jon Lester had his best start of the year last night in beating the Angels 7-3, just as the calendar turned from April to May. Well, fine, almost. A little poetic license here, people? Next on Action-ish News: Lester prefers May flowers to April showers! April Showers is suing.
Lester struck out eleven on just 93 pitches, only 27 of which were balls. Walking only one helped to keep the pitch count down. Lester was an ultra-efficient strike throwing mechanical or electrical device that transmits or modifies energy in order to perform or assist with human tasks. Sure I could’ve just said ‘machine’ but that would have been boring. Lester’s only obvious mistake was a fastball up, out, and over the plate to Mark Trumbo who hit it up, out, and over the Mass Pike. It was the only run Lester allowed on the night.
As has been pointed out elsewhere, over the past three days the Red Sox have won games opposite Felix Hernandez, Jered Weaver, and Dan Haren. They scored 9 runs in 20 innings off three of the best pitchers in the American League and another ten runs in seven innings off the guys who came in to keep it close. Lest you forget, this is a good team.
The Red Sox found the power switch. Adrian Gonzalez got it started with a shot NASA tracked on its satellites to within feet of the surface of the moon before the Earth’s gravity finally pulled it back into the Red Sox bullpen. That made it 4-1, at which point NASA requested Angels manager Mike Scioscia remove Dan Haren as his pitching was costing the federal government millions of dollars in satellite fees (not to mention the national security risk, etc.). Scioscia obliged, and brought in Hisanori Takahashi and he successfully prevented the homers of David Ortiz and Marco Scutaro, only separated only by a Jed Lowrie single and a JD Drew strikeout, from breaking out of United States airspace. Scutaro’s home run was obviously hit in retaliation for this slightly mean comment I made about him on Twitter. I hereby pledge to write mean things about Marco Scutaro on Twitter every day until he stops homering.
When did Jacoby Ellsbury turn into Alfonso Soriano? Decent batting average/mediocre on-base/high slugging. I’m not really complaining so much as trying to be clever (and failing) but the point is a valid one. Ellsbury is hitting .274/.336/.472 and it should be noted (with your standard billionty-eleven caveats) that he has the highest line drive percentage (24.3%) on the team. He’s also second on the team in doubles and homers.
Don’t look now, but Carl Crawford is… is… kinda hitting alright! The Craw (it’ll catch on) is hitting a respectable .289 over his last ten games and has raised his batting average from .136 [pukes into paper bag] to .194 [dry heaves]. Improvement! For now we’re going to avoid things like on-base percentage when talking about The Craw. One metric at a time.
The Dan Haren trade–the baseball equivalent of swapping an 8 track of the Commodores Greatest Hits for Queen Victoria’s diamond necklace at a garage sale in Altoona. If you’re wondering what happened to the necklace, the Angels cut it in half and sent a piece to Toronto in the Vernon Wells deal. The second half was refashioned into a doggy necklace for Mike Scioscia’s bulldog, Farty.